we're back here with the beardedand a calm and zen cubs fan, nick offerman. nick, you've got a new book--you didn't want to put it down on the thing? there's nothing to use as acoaster? >> there's no coaster. >> stephen: you actually havea present for me. >> what do you been that? >> stephen: you made these forme-- i actually haven't seen
these until this second. i'm thrilled. it's beautiful wooden coasters. can we get a shot of that? it has the brand of the offermanwoodshop. >> smolted maple. >> stephen: what's that mean? >> you see the dark lines? >> stephen: that's spalting?
>> yes, it's a fungus. when the tree falls and moisturebegins to seep in, specifically in maple, it gets these coollines. and if you mill it soon enough,you just get a cool pattern. if you leave it for a couplemore months, then it rots away and it's garbage. >> stephen: wow. if a tree falls in the woods andno one's there to mill it, does it make a coaster?
>> exactly. >> stephen: would you put thatover there. there you go, sir. the book is called "good cleanfun." and it's your joy and love ofworking with wood and what it does for you to do it. do you have a personalrelationship to wood? >> sure. the older i get the more myintimacy with wood consumes a
large part of my day. ( laughter )>> stephen: talking about the cubs for a second here, what arebaseball bats made out of? >> primarily ash. >> stephen: that's exactlyright. point for the man with the bird. >> we're in a little bit oftrouble because the emerald bore beetle is destroying the ashpopulation of the planet. louisville slugger's in troublefor real.
>> stephen: are nuclearweapons even on the table with this one? because we have to save baseballbats. what can be done? i'm not joking. what can be done to save the ashtree? >> there's been no solution. europe is almost and i think ofash trees. >> stephen: they don't playbaseball so it doesn't matter.
>> that's true. but ash is used to make hurlingbats. >> stephen: a harley, thereyou go. we have some wood here. and i understand you have apersonal relationship to wood, and i wanted to get your feelbusiness wood. what does it say to you? here's a piece of macog me. >> right.
>> stephen: what doesmahogany-- how does it speak to you? how would you characterize it? >> it's like royalty. if you respect it, then you willnot be punished. ( laughter )and when treated with adoration, it gives off a gentle sheen. ( laughter )>> stephen: okay. not familiar with royalty givingoff a sheen.
but thank you. ( applause )i like it. would you ever paint this? >> god no. >> stephen: never paint it. >> no, i would oil it. >> stephen: here's cedar. here's cedar. >> this is cedar.
this is western red cedar. >> stephen: wait a second. ( laughter )but from the eastern slope of the western red cedar. can you really smell what kindof cedar it was when you did that? >> middle on a tuesday morning. ( laughter )>> stephen: it's a pisces. ( laughter )( applause ).
>> yeah, you can smell it. it's not aromatic cedar, but ithas a very specific -- >> oh, you smelled what itwasn't. >> yes. >> stephen: you smelled whatit wasn't. that's very zen. >> western red cedar is what imake my coo news out of so i know the smell very well. >> stephen: you're going tohook me up with a canoe plan.
>> cedar is more like adependable hippie. >> stephen: what is adependable hippie, my friend? >> it's a hippie, it's light onits feet. it doesn't take anything tooheavily. but then when the going getstough, when you face into the headwind, you can count on it. it has an incredible tensilestrength. >> also like a hippie, it's veryfragrant. ( laughter ).
>> stephen: another and last,let's bring it home. let's bring it home. ( applause )let's bring it home. let's bring it home withhardwood, okay? maple. >> maple. maple is what i would call thevaledictorian of the cabinet woods, being walnut, cherry,mahogany, and maple. it will pass any test you exactupon it.
and it's a smart wood. it can-- it can outsmart all ofthe other students. ( laughter )in the woodshop. >> stephen: how does itoutsmart them? how does it outsmart them, nick? >> that's a great question. that's between me and mothernature. ( laughter )it's cellular. >> stephen: it's cellular?
>> yeah. >> stephen: cellular. i've cooked over maple. have you ever cooked over maple? >> just chips. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> on my charcoal. >> stephen: i've cooked overfire made of pure main expel it makes your steak taste like awaffle.
>> no kidding. >> stephen: it does. i'm going to check out "goodclean fun." it's available everywhere booksare sold. nick offerman, everybody. thanks.♪ ♪ ♪( applause )